its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Randomize
