I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
