I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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