i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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