she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
