Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
