from now on my penis is your penis
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
