Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
