So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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