he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
