you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
