there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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