it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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