I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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