Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize