we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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