Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
