I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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