WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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