I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
My bed smells like the plague
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
