Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize