pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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