Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
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