no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
it was like his penis was on wheels.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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