she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize