I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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