I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
