When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
