i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
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You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
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All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
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