So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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