I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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