Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
