so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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