I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
be right there i have to get my cape
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
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