I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
