I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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