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I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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