we're chasing vodka with high fives
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
