Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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