I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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