You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
