I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
