i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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