he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
