Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Randomize