Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
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