it was like eating out sand paper
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
