But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
