I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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