I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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