got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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