what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
zippers are such a cool invention
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
