Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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