your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
