Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize