Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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