you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
please come you make the beer taste better
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Randomize
