I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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