She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
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So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
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You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
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