You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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