we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though