and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
