Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu