bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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