im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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