I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Also, beer. Big fan.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize