What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Randomize
